


Share and Share Alike - Am I The Asshole?

by Anonymous



Series: Winter At Kaer Morhen - SASA & Related Works [3]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: AITA - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Treated Seriously, Just Listing that because mentions of relationships between foster family members, Just for Laughs, M/M, No Smut, Pseudo-Incest, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The fic Share And Share Alike, as told through Reddit "Am I the Asshole" posts.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Winter At Kaer Morhen - SASA & Related Works [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718008
Comments: 26
Kudos: 234
Collections: Anonymous





	Share and Share Alike - Am I The Asshole?

**Author's Note:**

> Minimal tagging here, just tossed the important ones up here. No explicit sex, no actual incest, this is just for lols. A little cracky update for everyone.
> 
> My brain is full of plot tribbles that are multiplying at an alarming rate.

**Can't tell boyfriend about "family" tradition - 98M**

Okay so my 19yo bf (don't worry I look like 35 and have great skin) wants to meet my family before we take things to the next level.

Unfortunately, my bio family abandoned me when I was like 12, and I was taken in by this hot muscle bear of a foster dad. (And you know what, if that squicked you out, just scroll past to the photos of my beautiful horse at the bottom of the post, because you're going to hate the rest of this)

So anyway, foster Daddy and I have... You know, chemistry. Didn't do anything gross while I was a kid, but once I was a consenting adult we hooked up. Other problem is that I also have two foster "brothers" around my age, and we also hooked up.

When my youngest brother showed up with a dude from a rival frat house, my other brother cracked a joke about making it a 'family tradition' to kind of... Have a welcome to the weirdos club orgy. Obviously, all parties are consenting adults, and since most people we bring home to meet our family are already know the story and are DTF it's fine.

However... The problem is that my 19-year-old boyfriend is a virgin, and wants me to be his first. And wants to bottom. I'm a pretty bottom heavy leaning switch, so I know I can make him happy...But I actually _do_ want my family to meet him and approve of him, not just dick him down.

**Tl;DR my 19 YO virgin boyfriend is coming to spend the winter at my family's ski cabin and me and my foster family get down on the reg.**

How do I explain what might happen when he gets there, and that all this has been going on for... A while?

Also, I think I want to ask him to marry me. In a best case scenario, is a good time to propose before or after he's taken my "family's" bad dragon dildo collection up the ass?

* * *

**Boyfriend is being cagey af about spending winter break with his family - 19M**

Okay so, please advise if I'm about to get ritually murdered in the woods. Because I seriously have no idea what is going on.

So I'm a music major, and wound up meeting this random dude at a Waffle House on a road trip. I was just kind of hitchhiking across the country, "Finding Myself," liberal arts major shit.

Anyway, I cruise up to him with what I think is a pretty solid pick up line, and invite him to fuck in the bathroom. Unfortunately this brick shithouse of a silver fox biker is into dudes but can smell a virgin a mile away.

He lets me tag along with him though, and like winds up trying to play wingman for me to get my cherry popped. Honestly, he's a sweetheart. I have no idea how old this guy is, he could be anywhere from 27 to 300, he's weird about age. Apparently after a certain point birthdays aren't important. Whatever.

We actually wind up being really close friends, sort of like brothers-in-arms. There's the occasional handyjay at rest stops at night, but he's a "I never kiss em on the mouth" sort of dude, you know? Emotionally closed off.

He starts pushing me at waitresses, talking me up to hot trucker daddies... Even a really expensively dressed businessman once which, not going to lie, was nice.

Here's the problem - like a dumbass, I went and caught feelings. Dude is super nice, like giant sweetheart of a teddy bear. He even has a horse that _he facetimes with_. I'm not making this up. He keeps a photo of this 12 yo girl he's a Big Brother mentor for in his wallet, and picks up something for her at every mini mart. Usually a pocket knife, because apparently it's never to early to learn stabbing based defense?

It's honestly pretty cute.

We're not monogamous (tbf I don't know if we're even dating?!), and I have the feeling he has other partners, because he got really weird when I told him that I'm falling hard and maybe we could do the whole (yeah yeah, virginity is a construct) Big First Night sometime.

He finally agreed I could come meet his family (and or polycule? Idk for all I know he was sculpted out of marble and breathed life into like a Greek God), but instead of like the family dinner I was expecting, he wants me to spend the entire winter break at their personal ski cabin??

He's acting really weird and terse and shady.

**TL, DR: Am I going to get murdered or proposed to?**

* * *

**Good news, bad news (98M - UPDATE)**

OKAY SO, GOOD NEWS IS MY 'DAD' REALLY LIKES HIM.

Bad news is my family definitely has a new favorite power bottom, shit.

If I do propose, I'm going to be stuck topping for the rest of my life.

* * *

**It's not murder or a proposal it's...a whole family orgy? (19M - UPDATE)**

Okay, so the situation turned out to be a lot weirder than I expected, in a really fun way.

Couple things, lost my virginity to his foster dad – while [98M] jerked off watching it (!!!!) And now, 'Teach [19M] to get dicked down until he sees god and passes out' has been added to the daily chore rotation.

Look, not that I'm complaining at all about this: learning a lot about myself and my partner, namely that we're both flexible switches with Daddy and Cuckolding kinks.

Also, I know my boyfriend is way older than me, but seriously he's too adorable not to top. I want to wreck him but have never topped before- could use advice on the polite way to say this?

**TLDR, having fun, no one's put a ring on it, food is great here and the entertainment is sublime. How do I tell my brick shithouse of a boyfriend I want to tie him up and ruin him?**

OH I LEFT THIS OUT APPARENTLY THEY'RE ALL FURRIES TOO


End file.
